Phalanx loves providing us with the best grappling shorts on the market.$37
👍
Aye, we missed you. We always need your approval.
Phalanx does it again! Whether chasing your PR on those ridiculous kipping pullups, thrusting your pelvis agressively at the person in front of you, chasing the perfect KB swing, practicing your rubber guard on the mats, riding some tasty waves or sucking down some fine Lager suds at a bechside taco stand at sunset, the Phalanx “Gray Worlds” HPTX shorts have you covered both literally and figuratively. The HPTX 4-way stretch 100% poly fabric ensures nothing will cramp your style in the box, on the mats or cruising the boardwalk. The wide, heavy duty waistband ensures the only crack youll see is the stuff the homeless guy who set up camp near the public bathrooms has in his glass pipe. No pockets means you always have an excuse to make your date pay. You dont have to mention the hidden pocket- unless you get hammered at said beach bar and start a fight by calling all of the crossfit guys from the box you dropped in on, pussies, then after you choke one, or two out, stumble over to the homeless guy by the batrooms and tell him that no one understands you, (did you take a hit, who knows? you cant remember shit) when all of a sudden the homeless encampment gets raided and because you looks like you rolled around in the shitty end of a dog park and are covered in other peoples blood (not to mention youre REALLY hammered) so you look like the mayor of Shantytown and get hauled off in the paddy wagon. Then youll have to mention the hidden pocket to the booking officer. You may look like crap and your near term outlook may be pretty bleak, but the sublimated graphics will look like they just came out of the laundry for years to come. Dont wait, do yourself a favor and make sure you look good at your arraignment. Get yourself a pair of the Phalanx “Gray Worlds” HPTX shorts today- hell, at this price get two! I did! * Buyer assumes all reaponsibility for securing bail ** Fanny pack with all of your important stuff that youll probably leave at the bar because youre so wasted, sold separately.
How much meth did u smoke prior to composing that $#! ???!!
I dunno. How much does your mom usually carry?
Bwahahahahahaha!
@Biz- welcome to the Batemantinho show.
Nah fam. Not my show in the least. I’m just another over-caffeinated, American Psycho with insomnia on vacation in Cali. I write what I see. Sometimes in my head, sometimes out the window of my hotel. ¯\\\\'_(?)_/¯
J. PETERMAN got nothing on you!
Bruh these fuck Phalanx world 4 life
I never knew I needed Phalanx shorts in my life until I tried them on. Let me tell you, these bad boys are the real deal. Not only do they make my legs look like ancient Greek warriors, but they also have pockets deep enough to hold all of my snacks (and trust me, that's saying something). I've even started wearing them to important business meetings because they make me feel like I can conquer the world. 10/10 would recommend to anyone looking to up their fashion game and snack game at the same time
Weak
Except these don't have pockets except the one for the mouth guard, right? Not sure what kind of snacks you'd store in there. Skittles? Definitely not a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Trust me.
Phalanx is best
What is the inseam?
Man…2XL is 37”?? I was about to order these, too. Good thing I looked.
We always provide size recommendations.
You say that, but there are always tons of unanswered sizing questions. Less lately I admit.
Appreciate the size rec…just not the shorts for ants.
@adder. We are going to be on top of the wall more, there are going to be a lot more positive changes happening to HQ in the near future. You can always comment on the post on instagram/facebook and will get back to you asap.
From my experience with the HPTX shorts, the listed size is the circumference of the fully contracted waistband. They have a couple of inches of stretch in them. I wear a 36 in jeans and the XL fit just right, definitely a looser fit in the thighs than the Rizr’s. I wont wear the HPLT’s as their length reminds me of Jamz.
@HQ-GOD glad to hear it! Cheers.
GOD DAMN I HATE THE COWBOYS
Fukya me 2
Us too. Sincerely, The Indians.
We don't talk about that BS here, plus we are Packer fans
9.9/10 Not short enough.
Yea!
A miracle. I actually bought something today instead of posting cringe!
Got em. Love these. My third pair of HTPX shorts I have bought for myself from BJJHQ and I have gotten two pairs for my son as well. Best shorts I have ever worn.
They're such a great length.
"That's what." -She
I am shitting and giving my asshole a good stretch while reading these comments. Cheers 🍻
How long ia it taking to get your stuff? I ordered the inverted gear shorts on the 6th. Still havent seem them?
I've already rolled in mine a couple of times in the last week.
Buru nyuuu
Schnarf! Schnarf!