>>the year is 2021 >>everyone is packed in crowded mega coliseum to hear announcement from BJJHQ CEO and Founder >>the BJJ community is excited, he’s never been seen in public before >>he’s a eccentric recluse billionaire like Jeff Bezos mixed with Willy Wonka & Tony Stark >>suddenly smoke on stage >>a man appears onstage wearing sunglasses, smoking a cigar, wearing his formal wear hypnotic rashguard >>the crowd is silent in anticipation >>slowly he extends his arm, pauses, and finally snaps his fingers >>on screen the words NON STOP ROLLING DEALS appears in big red letters >>standing ovation, people are shouting, screaming, even moaning seductively >>he snaps again *SNAP* >>THE ENTIRETY OF 2021 >>Men are crying, a man collapses of a heart attack, a woman in the back is actively giving birth, a man in a wheelchair gets up and starts dancing, people are clapping their hands into bloody stumps >>the man grins, lowers his sunglasses a fraction of an inch *SNAP* >>FREE SHIPPING (even to Hawaii) >>fights break out in the crowd, multiple non sanctioned IBJJF matches are erupting, people are defacating in the isles >>*SNAP* SAME DAY SHIPPING >>Pure chaos, chairs are being thrown, people are pulling guard & getting trampled >>this is too much, the crowd surges forward trying to rush the stage in an elated frenzy >>security is fighting off the crowd who has been whipped into an elated frenzy but losing ground >>**SNAP** 50% OFF ALL ITEMS >>security are swallowed by the crowd as people rush the stage >>a security guard on horseback is attempting to beat people with a billy club but is suddenly dehorsed and both him and horse are eaten alive by the frenzied crowd >>just as the mass of people are about to reach the man on stage he is airlifted out of the arena by harness >>he laughs and reaches into a plastic bag and throws handfuls of armbar soap and free movie tickets to the movie Jiu Jitsu starring Nicholas cage into the crowd before finally flicking his cigar >>the soap is causing even more fights, it melts and becomes slippery creating a fragrant clean refreshing chaos >>unsurprisingly the movie tickets remain untouched, people are actively dodging them >>thx bjjhq you’ve done it again
I gave up reading this halfway waiting for the punchline. Good effort though
i made an account just to tell you these are incredibly dumb / annoying
Thesw fools cannot fathom genius when its facing them, truant you are a gawd
be dope if no hypnotik stuff was ever posted again
Go on and speak for y'self
No more rolling deals?
We had one a couple of weeks ago. Probably one more this year.