Confucious's profile at MMA HQ

Parry "Tiger" Black Long Sleeve

A natural history museum quality rashie.

11/12/2024 9:02:42 AM

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0 Comments

93brand "Gotham Static" BJJ Gi

I'm batman.

10/29/2024 11:43:29 PM

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1 Comment

Tatami Combat Club Shorts (HQ exclusive cut)

Nihao

10/24/2024 12:55:45 AM

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1 Comment

Fuji Maeda Flex Lite Rash Guard - Navy

No

9/26/2024 11:17:50 PM

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0 Comments

Tatami "Strike Hard" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Basically

9/24/2024 11:41:02 PM

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0 Comments

Fuji Bushido Flex Lite Shorts

"Bushi" means "No" in Chinese.
So it's a PASS.

9/19/2024 11:14:48 PM

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5 Comments

Parry "Pride" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Good old school rashguard for older generations who enjoyed Pride FC.

9/16/2024 11:06:42 PM

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0 Comments

Tatami Takedown Crew Bomber Jacket

Batman

9/8/2024 11:13:11 PM

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0 Comments

93brand "Standard Issue" Long Sleeve Rashguard 2pack

Good deal. Actually a good deal.

7/29/2024 11:08:09 PM

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0 Comments

Progress The Academy Gi - White

"Rockstar Gis"

7/19/2024 11:08:34 PM

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0 Comments

Tatami Random 2pack Tees

Risky

7/12/2024 11:09:31 PM

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0 Comments

Toro "Three Wolves" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Whoever wears this in a dojo gotta be a husky, not a wolf.

7/7/2024 11:04:23 PM

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0 Comments

Armbar Soap Company - Random 5-PACK

Clean off the grime, bro
Avoid the mat's brutal blow
Armbar soap, let's go!

6/30/2024 11:30:21 PM

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0 Comments

Phalanx "Bridger" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Rolling deals galore,
New low prices every spin,
Wallet's final roar.

6/28/2024 11:09:53 PM

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0 Comments

Tatami Recharge Leopard Print Shorts (HQ exclusive cut)

Leopard shorts, so tight,
Rolling hot in BJJ fight,
Passion flames ignite.

6/19/2024 11:03:59 PM

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0 Comments

Meerkatsu "Demon Hunter" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Confucius confused,
Design blues, his mind bemused,
No haiku produced.

6/10/2024 11:06:56 PM

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0 Comments

Jitsy Club Arctic Camo Long Sleeve Rash Guard

In snow you vanish
In dojo, you look cuckoo
Arctic camo? No.

(Seriously don't buy arctic camo pattern, quite difficult to pair shorts)

6/8/2024 11:13:29 PM

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0 Comments

Fuji Lightweight Gi - Blue

Lightweight gi delight,
Cheap, yet tough in every fight,
My wallet's best friend.

6/7/2024 11:11:31 PM

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0 Comments

Tatami "Vortex" T-Shirt - Black

This shirt's quite a sight,
Graphic's odd, far from right,
Fashion's baffling plight.

5/31/2024 11:16:45 PM

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2 Comments

Fuji Oni vs. Anaconda Short Sleeve Rash Guard - Black

Anaconda's hold,
Strength and beauty in the fold,
Rashguard brave and bold!

5/30/2024 11:43:54 PM

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0 Comments

93brand "Construct" Convertible Gear Bag (Duffel/Backpack Hybrid)

BJJHQ deals,
Enough of duffle bags, please,
Closet overflows.

5/29/2024 11:10:33 PM

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1 Comment

93brand XL Pearl Weave Duffel Bag (Olive Drab)

Green duffle packed tight,
Gi and belt ready for fight-
Lost my mouthguard? Fright!

5/23/2024 11:26:53 PM

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1 Comment

Continuous Flow "The Darced of US" Spats

Ugly BJJ spats, ugh,
Rainbow cats and pizza pies,
Tap out from the cringe.

5/22/2024 12:00:19 AM

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0 Comments

Scramble "BAKA" Shorts Black/Seafoam Green

"Baka" on my shorts,
Triangle choke locked in tight,
Who's the Baka now, huh?

5/20/2024 11:13:48 PM

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0 Comments

Inverted Gear Hybrid Gi

Black belt, calm and cool,
White belt flails, tries not to drool-
Panda flips the fool.

5/19/2024 11:28:28 PM

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0 Comments

93brand Vintage 2.0 Hoodie

Graphs misplaced, oh no!
My hoodie, what a shame it shows,
Fashion fail, I glow.

5/18/2024 11:14:18 PM

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0 Comments

BJJ Wholesale Darce Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Arm drag, then a twist,
Darce demands your swift retreat,
Violence in mist.

5/17/2024 11:04:12 PM

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1 Comment

93brand Body Butchers Spats

Body Butchers Spats,
Leglocks in a tight embrace,
Omoplata dance.

5/13/2024 11:11:55 PM

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0 Comments

Fuji Comp Duffle - Grey and Black Bag

Man who stuff Fuji duffle like Thanksgiving turkey, always find missing socks in gravy boat.

5/11/2024 11:03:53 PM

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1 Comment

Phalanx "Premier" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Phalanx premierly tight,
Butterfly sweep, in the fight,
Upside down, pure delight!

5/10/2024 11:14:25 PM

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0 Comments

Progress "Panther" Shorts - White

Progress Panther strides,
Shorts tight, fart in the wind,
Swift escape opponent seeks.

5/9/2024 11:11:15 PM

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1 Comment

93brand "Cauli Floral" Rashguard

I said: "Man who wear Cauli Floral Rashguard to fight, may win admiration, but also risk being mistaken for a wandering garden."

5/8/2024 11:27:13 PM

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0 Comments

Phalanx "Mecha Wars" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

A gear black belts deserve, but not the one they need.

5/4/2024 11:03:05 PM

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0 Comments

Progress M6 Mark 6 BJJ Gi - Peach

This looks like blasphemy. Why not just nice, clean unbleached color?

4/29/2024 11:17:02 PM

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0 Comments

Aesthetic "Legacy" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.

4/26/2024 11:01:32 PM

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0 Comments

Kitsune "Cursive" Jiu Jitsu Gi

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart."

4/25/2024 11:15:57 PM

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1 Comment

Kitsune "Red Skies" Compression-Lined Shorts

Kitsune "Illusory Python" Compression-Lined Shorts

4/16/2024 11:01:58 PM

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0 Comments

Finishers Black Standard 2-Layer Shorts

Man who fart in church, sit in his own pew.

4/10/2024 11:25:50 PM

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0 Comments

Fuji Suparaito BJJ Gi - Burgundy

4/5/2024 8:57:02 AM

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0 Comments

Phalanx "Matrix" HPTX Shorts

Rate my physique.

4/2/2024 11:06:51 PM

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0 Comments

Phalanx "Matrix" HPTX Shorts

Repeat after me— “We are sorry that we forgot about Phalanx Winter Soldier Shorts, again.”
Seriously we need whole set fashion in warring states period alright?

4/2/2024 11:04:32 PM

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0 Comments

Inverted Gear Panda 400 BJJ Gi - White

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

4/1/2024 11:25:31 PM

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0 Comments

Finishers "Reaper" Rashguard

Man who run in front of car, get tired.

3/27/2024 11:10:36 PM

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3 Comments

Finishers "Reaper" Rashguard

Meh

3/27/2024 11:09:18 PM

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0 Comments

Tatami Success Zip Hoodie - Black

Rate my rear naked chok in

3/26/2024 11:47:58 PM

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0 Comments

Kitsune "Cursive MK2" BJJ Gi - Black

Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef

3/25/2024 11:01:01 PM

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2 Comments

Progress "Panther" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

That's a good looking rashguard.

3/24/2024 11:03:17 PM

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0 Comments

Phalanx Black Ops Arctic HPTX Shorts

Two hardest No Gi gear to pair with--
Phalanx Black Ops Arctic HPTX Shorts, and
Phalanx Winter Soldier Rashguard
Seriously we need a matching rashguard and a shorts to pair with these purchases.
When??

3/19/2024 11:44:53 PM

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0 Comments

Phalanx Black Ops Arctic HPTX Shorts

Does this pair well with the Phalanx Winter Soldier? That rashie seems hard to pair but this one looks nice.

1/8/2024 11:07:46 PM

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0 Comments

Nation Athletic "90s Babies V2!" Shorts

Dojo of electric eel bungalow proudly presents to you "90s Babies V2!" Shorts

12/4/2023 11:13:01 PM

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0 Comments

Nation Athletic "90s Babies V2!" Shorts

Dojo of electric eel bungalow

12/4/2023 11:12:13 PM

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0 Comments

Kitsune Hydro Rashguard

Whoever said this gay is gay

11/4/2023 11:07:13 PM

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2 Comments

Kitsune Kimonos "Dragon" Jiu Jitsu Gi - Unbleached Edition

A clean, unbleached light gi! Nice.

10/3/2023 11:11:04 PM

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0 Comments

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Phalanx "Galactic" Spats

I love this Haiku. It is full of flavor.

6/15/2023 11:49:52 PM

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Inverted Gear "Panda 400" BJJ Gi - Black

I will buy the unbleached one for sure.

10/20/2023 11:06:59 AM

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Kitsune Hydro Rashguard

bb= bareback

11/4/2023 11:19:53 PM

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Kitsune Hydro Rashguard

You must be the type of guy proposing drag queen reading sessions with kindergarten kids

11/4/2023 11:26:06 PM

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93brand "Construct" Convertible Gear Bag (Duffel/Backpack Hybrid) - Black

That's no-gi shorts if you identify yourself as a gi. It even has "construct" and "convertible" in its name.

11/9/2023 11:36:01 PM

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93brand "Construct" Convertible Gear Bag (Duffel/Backpack Hybrid) - Black

If you shit in it nobody would find out because it seals in all the flavor of your gi.

11/9/2023 11:28:53 PM

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Phalanx "Winter Soldier" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Not cool

11/28/2023 11:12:06 PM

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Kitsune "Dragon" Hoodie

Confucious is American. Look at his name-- Confucious actual Chinese name is "Zhongni", which is basically Johnny. So yeah he's American af, and you should care.

1/20/2024 11:22:02 PM

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Scramble Base-K BJJ Gi - Ninja Black

This is pretty good. So Mexico, Canada and what?

3/17/2024 11:20:25 PM

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Phalanx "Interrupter" HPTX Shorts

That's why in our country, Russia, we call shorts and pants interrupters. For example, "Putin's interrupters are especially erupting today."

3/23/2024 11:35:48 PM

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Progress "Panther" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Up to my ***

3/24/2024 11:18:21 PM

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Kitsune "Cursive MK2" BJJ Gi - Black

Halo my disciple. How's your life in Murica huh?

3/25/2024 11:28:47 PM

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Kitsune "Cursive MK2" BJJ Gi - Black

@StallGuard he is Mr. Ho. Big Ho sound like a garden implement.

3/25/2024 11:29:56 PM

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Kitsune "Cursive MK2" BJJ Gi - Black

Thank you. Yes, he is very filthy. And Gae.

3/26/2024 2:17:12 PM

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Kitsune "Cursive MK2" BJJ Gi - Black

Confucious Chinese. Confucious no understand murican monopoly.

3/25/2024 11:23:55 PM

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Kitsune "Cursive MK2" BJJ Gi - Black

Yes yes, "DeFiniTelynOtGAY"

3/26/2024 2:16:22 PM

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Finishers "Reaper" Rashguard

I'll never be him. My pronouns are she and not her.

3/27/2024 11:28:54 PM

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Finishers "Reaper" Rashguard

I was born in 551 BCE and Mongol invasion was in 1205 AD. But I do hope you don't run in front of car.

3/27/2024 11:40:07 PM

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Finishers "Reaper" Rashguard

I like stir fry bear paws.

3/28/2024 11:56:00 AM

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93brand XL Pearl Weave Duffel Bag - Navy/Black

Meh

3/28/2024 11:23:19 PM

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93brand XL Pearl Weave Duffel Bag - Navy/Black

I said Meth, not Math. It really helps with the "division".

3/28/2024 11:24:21 PM

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Phalanx "Flow Field" HPTX Shorts

He stole my book

3/30/2024 12:49:37 AM

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BJJ Wholesale Leglock Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Eww

4/5/2024 11:19:00 PM

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Half Sumo X HQ Year of the Tiger Spats

Will there be Phalanx Winter Soldier Ultralight RIZR Shorts?

4/12/2024 11:06:34 PM

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Progress Sugar Skull Rash Guard

I did not.

4/15/2024 11:06:25 PM

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Kitsune "Red Skies" Compression-Lined Shorts

Or something else

4/16/2024 11:02:16 PM

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Tatami ANIP Hoodie

Thank you Vegandude23.

4/25/2024 10:13:25 AM

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Tatami ANIP Hoodie

I honestly never said that.

4/25/2024 10:14:10 AM

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Tatami ANIP Hoodie

But good post nonetheless.

4/25/2024 12:47:40 PM

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Kitsune "Cursive" Jiu Jitsu Gi

Good for you A0matters, good for you.

4/26/2024 10:43:00 AM

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Phalanx "Mecha Wars" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Good shit keep on my disciple you made me proud

5/4/2024 11:04:14 PM

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Phalanx "Mecha Wars" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

I don’t remember you paid tuition. Fake disciple confirmed.

5/4/2024 11:03:39 PM

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Tatami Tanjun BJJ Gi - White

What a disgrace you are.

5/7/2024 11:02:49 PM

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Progress "Panther" Shorts - White

Japanese haiku= weak Chinese poem

5/10/2024 11:25:03 AM

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Fuji Comp Duffle - Grey and Black Bag

*as lame as this product*

5/12/2024 8:58:45 AM

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BJJ Wholesale Darce Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Couldn’t take criticism when you posted a shitty “Confucius joke” last time AP? ;)

5/18/2024 9:26:51 AM

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93brand Vintage 2.0 Hoodie

Yes, it's a shame that the graphs are in front...

5/18/2024 11:12:01 PM

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Inverted Gear Hybrid Gi

Ouch

5/19/2024 11:28:42 PM

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93brand XL Pearl Weave Duffel Bag (Olive Drab)

That's on you, yes. Easy for Confucious, Haiku is.

5/24/2024 9:26:21 AM

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2-PACK of 93brand Standard Issue Rashguards (Black, Smoke Grey)

*sparringly*

5/28/2024 10:16:46 AM

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93brand "Construct" Convertible Gear Bag (Duffel/Backpack Hybrid)

Japanese Haiku= Weak Chinese poem

5/30/2024 8:13:04 AM

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Tatami "Vortex" T-Shirt - Black

Thank you. "(where) three people walk, (there) must be my teacher (among them)."

5/31/2024 11:47:52 PM

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Tatami "Vortex" T-Shirt - Black

*is

6/1/2024 9:44:38 AM

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Fuji Lightweight Gi - Blue

Canada, the land of forsaken.

6/7/2024 11:38:02 PM

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Progress Academy Plus Hybrid Shorts - Black

I said no double posts on BJJHQ.

6/11/2024 11:12:05 PM

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Continuous Flow Akiimura Rash Guard

Jiu Jizz Tsu

6/12/2024 11:49:17 PM

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Fuji Oni vs. Anaconda Short Sleeve Rash Guard - Red

Thank you.

6/13/2024 11:41:16 PM

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Fuji Tora Flex Lite Long Sleeve Rash Guard

And tax ID

7/11/2024 11:09:58 PM

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Tatami Akuma Shorts

Akuma

7/28/2024 11:03:02 PM

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93brand "Standard Issue" Long Sleeve Rashguard 2pack

Joe, you don’t have six pack.

7/29/2024 11:59:32 PM

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Meerkatsu Laughing Hannya Spats

"X can be anyone. Including you."

8/5/2024 11:16:46 PM

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Tatami Takedown Crew Bomber Jacket

No

9/8/2024 11:30:42 PM

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Progress "Panther" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

1/10

9/13/2024 11:13:53 PM

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Parry "Pride" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

*Top Influenza*

9/16/2024 11:11:41 PM

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Parry "Pride" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

1/10

9/16/2024 11:17:10 PM

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Parry "Pride" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

And gay

9/16/2024 11:22:54 PM

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Parry "Pride" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Bo condoms in Ming dynasty and alimony is too high

9/17/2024 8:18:50 PM

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Fuji Bushido Flex Lite Shorts

Yeah so Bushi means No or Not in Chinese.
So your Bushido academy means "Not the Correct Way" academy.
F**k Bushido.

9/19/2024 11:24:28 PM

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Fuji Bushido Flex Lite Shorts

Shut up fat weeb.

9/20/2024 8:30:32 AM

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Fuji Bushido Flex Lite Shorts

Oh where my balls... oh right there down in your throat

9/20/2024 11:36:45 AM

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Fuji Bushido Flex Lite Shorts

*weak* try better

9/20/2024 2:05:33 PM

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Fuji Bushido Flex Lite Shorts

Lol weird try but okay, 2/10, 1 point for me living rent free in your head

9/20/2024 6:24:30 PM

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Fuji Bushido Flex Lite Shorts

Ok you are proud to be gay. Another weird flex but okay.

9/20/2024 7:16:26 PM

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Flow Kimonos Alpine Pro 2.6 - White

Would still tap

9/20/2024 11:27:08 PM

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Tatami "Strike Hard" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

*thrust of freedom*

9/25/2024 12:25:00 AM

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Tatami Combat Club Shorts (HQ exclusive cut)

White confusion

10/24/2024 3:35:20 PM

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93brand "Gotham Static" BJJ Gi

Fake batman you mean

10/30/2024 12:58:10 PM

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Parry "Tiger" Black Long Sleeve

Do uoy meab bad bad or too bad Its aktualy good?

11/12/2024 2:00:18 AM

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Parry "Tiger" Black Long Sleeve

How can you speak when you have my meat in your m… oh never mind, wrong side. ;D

11/12/2024 3:43:34 PM

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