Phalanx "Sharp" HPTX Shorts

Yeh- I though that too.

Phalanx "Sharp" HPTX Shorts

Good shit. Takes me back.

Phalanx "Sharp" HPTX Shorts

Hahahahahaha!- took me a minute.

Phalanx "Sharp" HPTX Shorts

Now we know what the board in your profile pic means.

Inverted Gear 2023 Nogi Shorts - Black/Coral

Can't tell if you're artistic or autistic but I'm hooked.

Inverted Gear 2023 Nogi Shorts - Black/Coral

It’s black and salmon coral.

Inverted Gear 2023 Nogi Shorts - Black/Coral

Roberto, i think he was being serious. I looked it up. Salmon Coral. No shit. Fucking rainman.

Inverted Gear 2023 Nogi Shorts - Black/Coral

Same. Own 3 of their gis. Just wish the pandas on the sleeves weren’t all pastel colors.

Inverted Gear 2023 Nogi Shorts - Black/Coral

You misspelled donkeys and elephants.

Inverted Gear 2023 Nogi Shorts - Black/Coral

I think I have more of a problem with the 5” inseam.

Manto "X4" Gi (Royal Blue)

So you want a man-to "arrive"?

Manto "X4" Gi (Royal Blue)

Weird, mine got here in 5 business days. They must know something about you.

Manto "X4" Gi (Royal Blue)

Your hands are the only PeePeE you need? He's a lucky fella.

Manto "X4" Gi (Royal Blue)

What is this, a dating site?

Manto "X4" Gi (Royal Blue)

Time to ghost.

"Jiu Jitsu Saves" T-Shirt 2-PACK by BJJTees

Well, he wouldn't wear these shirts, that's for sure.

"Jiu Jitsu Saves" T-Shirt 2-PACK by BJJTees

Thanks for the assist.

"Jiu Jitsu Saves" T-Shirt 2-PACK by BJJTees

You forgot "The number one rule of CrossFit is that you tell EVERYONE you CrossFit."

Manto "Future" Rashguard - Black

They should have.

Manto "Future" Rashguard - Black

Skinjobs... Never cared for'em.

93brand "Nineties" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

LOLOLOLOL

93brand "Nineties" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Rethink your life choices, bub.

93brand "Nineties" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Love the show, hate the rashguard, lol'd at your description. Not a fan, huh? Good work. Keep 'em coming.

93brand "Nineties" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

If you bought this- you got yourself.

93brand "Nineties" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

MBIC, talk to someone before this gets out of hand.

Fuji Lifestyle Bag (Black/Blue)

Bro, you don't want to know what error code 2 is...

Fuji Lifestyle Bag (Black/Blue)

POURHWAI?

Fuji Lifestyle Bag (Black/Blue)

AAAnd still...

Fuji Lifestyle Bag (Black/Blue)

You should get one of these and wear it when you bully him back.

Fuji Lifestyle Bag (Black/Blue)

Not the fist time you've thought that, huh?

Fuji Lifestyle Bag (Black/Blue)

It sounds like the measurements for the box it comes in.

Fuji Lifestyle Bag (Black/Blue)

My girl liked these so much she told me to buy one color of each. One for her and one for her "work husb... Shit.

Phalanx "Arctic Black Ops" Rashguard

It's classified

Phalanx "Arctic Black Ops" Rashguard

A star is born. Go get 'em, Pat!

Phalanx "Arctic Black Ops" Rashguard

Ok but now you're obliged to tell us what you said.

Kitsune "Red Skies" Compression-Lined Shorts

The dedicated, bedside sock.

Kitsune "Red Skies" Compression-Lined Shorts

The sizes should have been tant?, wakizashi and katana.

Kitsune "Red Skies" Compression-Lined Shorts

"Taint-o"

Kitsune "Red Skies" Compression-Lined Shorts

Like Patricio said the other day; just wait around a couple of seasons and there no telling what nonsense will be legal and what regular thing will be illegal.

Kitsune "Red Skies" Compression-Lined Shorts

I was today years old when I learned that she has arms. ??

Kitsune "Red Skies" Compression-Lined Shorts

@stickiwax- whakaute

Scramble Varsity Gi - White

O_O

Scramble Varsity Gi - White

John Rambo, you're the Carlos Mencia of BJJHQ. Patricio said basically everything you said when he did his take on the blue version of this same Gi like two weeks ago. Weak a** imposter.

Scramble Varsity Gi - White

Firstly, your mom keeps flip-flopping on how she identifies so she's my girlfriend again this week. Secondly, if you weren't wasting away in the basement, smoking weed and rubbing your wee-wee on the Chewy.com catalog all day, you might have put your two brain cells together and realized that someone may remember the material you we're about to rip off- yes, even as far back as two weeks ago. I gotta go now. Your mom is asking for some scheisse play. I gotta go strap her down and fill her throat up again. See you at dinner, Son.

Scramble Varsity Gi - White

Mix em up with a little KY, pop em in the microwave for 10 seconds and it's like a peanut butter fleshlight.

GOLD LABEL V4 by 93brand Jiu Jitsu

Oh man, Don't anger the HQ gods! You never ask for anything you want. It's a sure way to ensure you'll never see it. Then they'll sneak it in for 15 minutes in the middle of the night on a Rolling deal when you'll never see it.

We get what we get and we're happy for it.

Praised be the HQ gods!

Phalanx "Grey Worlds" HPTX Shorts

Except these don't have pockets except the one for the mouth guard, right? Not sure what kind of snacks you'd store in there. Skittles? Definitely not a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Trust me.

Phalanx "Grey Worlds" HPTX Shorts

@Biz- welcome to the Batemantinho show.

Fuji Elemental Gi (Blue)

I gave you a thumbs-up because it seems like you tried really, really hard.

Fuji Elemental Gi (Blue)

Really hard.

Phalanx "Beast Mode" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

I'm moist.

Phalanx "Beast Mode" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

You're like a house burger on wonder bread.

Phalanx "Beast Mode" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

You're not a villain buddy. You're a parody of a parody. You're the last leg of a game of telephone, played by 3 year olds.

Phalanx "Beast Mode" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Go wear a Wifebeater, boomer.

93brand "Butterfly Originals" Casual Gi Pants - Midnight Navy Colorway

J2- apparently 23 other people and myself care. It's right up there to read, genius.

93brand "Butterfly Originals" Casual Gi Pants - Midnight Navy Colorway

You called? This better not be a tease...

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

Sometimes I want to hate on you but I can't. This is good. Keep this up.

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

You can dakshmack on my cornstalk

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

You need be neither. Just have a mental disorder described in the DSM5 and you're good to go.

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

You magnificent, stereotyping bastard... I see you, King.

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

There's a kernel of truth in what Pat just said.

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

C'mon, groomer's deserve deals too.

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

Easy now, polygamy, selective breeding, strong arming, and extortion are ok. Just ask Warren Jeffs.

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

"Just for the memes".

Here. You dropped your tiara and fake eyelashes, King.

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

Good. Makes it easy to spot who I should keep my kids away from in the gym.

Meerkatsu "Zen Unicorn" Gi - Grey

Yiff away.

Kitsune "Bloom" Compression-Lined Shorts - Navy

I'm older than my stepmom. She has a lily tattooed on her lily. I can't wait till my old man croaks so I can pollinate the hell out of her without my dad giving me the guilt trip face from his wheelchair.

Scramble Combination Shorts - Black/Purple

#preach