dylan.trotter95's profile at MMA HQ

Tatami "Onyx" Black Joggers

"cokedust is extremely hard to get off these without washing."

-Craig Jones

12/6/2024 1:14:46 AM

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GOLD LABEL V4 by 93brand Jiu Jitsu

I'm always hesitant against anything except a black gi.

how much will my opponents blood show up on this?

11/10/2024 11:39:21 PM

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Tatami Akuma Shorts

I really admire that the back decals outline my tidy-whiteys perfectly.

11/3/2024 1:38:44 AM

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29Niku "Let's Roll Light III" Shorts

ANDDDD NEWWWWW

10/26/2024 12:03:08 AM

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2 Comments

Scramble Base-K BJJ Gi - Ninja Black

okay come on, I can't be the only one that misread "ninja-black"

10/17/2024 7:00:10 AM

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Progress Academy Plus Grey Rash Guard

butttttt mommmm, I want the Logan Paul action figure!!!

mom : we have Logan Paul at home!

the logan paul at home :

10/12/2024 12:00:27 AM

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93brand X Meerkatsu Hell Hooks 2.0 Rash Guard

look at that lil fuggin bish tappin.... smdh....

10/8/2024 6:30:57 AM

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Kitsune Kimonos "Spectre" Lightweight BJJ Gi - 2024 Edition

I won't consider AI fully developed until it can diagnose this niche online community and consistently come up with the top comment beating out dongs/confucius for popularity.

10/6/2024 11:09:18 PM

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93brand "Hybrid" Hoodie - Navy

big jiujitsu is censoring me because they don't want you to know heelhooks are just as effective against children.

9/29/2024 11:35:13 PM

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Kitsune Kimonos "Prime" Ombre Spats

I've literally bought these the past 3 times I've seen them and they've never once made my jiujitsu any better.

they are really nice spats though

9/29/2024 3:05:57 AM

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Fuji Maeda Flex Lite Rash Guard - Navy

they selling us the whole damn bakery today gawd dayuuummmm

9/27/2024 12:55:07 AM

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Tatami "Strike Hard" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

I'm always hard when I strike.

9/24/2024 11:43:57 PM

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Fuji Bushido Flex Lite Shorts

lEmMe sEe tHeM cUm GuTtErs bOi, wHy tHeY GoTtA cRoP iT oUt?!?!

9/19/2024 11:22:09 PM

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Tatami Uncover Joggers - Navy

how do these look when you're going commando? is coach going to yell at me?

9/18/2024 12:20:52 AM

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Tatami Takedown Crew Bomber Jacket

I don't care what you say.
my hunger for rolling deals will never be satiated.

yes I bought this jacket yesterday,TWICE even when it popped up a second time.

YES I'm going to buy it again, I don't care, just gimme more rolling deals!!! I NEEEEEEED THEM

9/8/2024 11:30:02 PM

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93brand XL Pearl Weave Duffel Bag (Olive Drab)

what's the best cure for genitalia ringworm?

8/29/2024 2:06:08 PM

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1 Comment

93brand Standard Issue Grappling Shorts 2-Pack - Black/Midnight & French Navy

nobody gonna mention smash? wtf? yall gay?

8/15/2024 9:46:29 PM

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93brand "Standard Issue" Long Sleeve Rashguard 2pack

bought these during rolling deals.
order a size up but other than that great rashguards. a bit thinner than my others which I'm okay with.

7/30/2024 1:10:44 AM

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Tatami Recharge Leopard Print Shorts (HQ exclusive cut)

I'm a simple man, I see anything Gordon Ryan or Craig Jones wore, and I buy it expecting my jiujitsu to get better.

6/20/2024 5:18:37 PM

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Tatami "Grappling Supply"/ "Victory" 2pack tee

gritting my teeth and smiling like this is the fathers day gift I wanted from BJJHQ 😬😬😬

6/16/2024 11:11:26 PM

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93brand "Mechanics V2" Rash Guard

pass.

5/26/2024 2:24:20 AM

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Flow Alpine Pro 2.10 BJJ Gi - Blue

I can't help but get thrown into a violent trance at the slightest hint of criticism or pushback.

5/22/2024 11:33:56 PM

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1 Comment

Scramble "BAKA" Shorts Black/Seafoam Green

anyone got any Za-Za? the wizard kind?

5/20/2024 11:05:47 PM

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0 Comments

Inverted Gear Hybrid Gi

I was on shark tank pitching a gun.

5/19/2024 11:10:13 PM

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93brand Twin Twill Duffel Bag - Black

if I see another one of these bags I'm gonna see another one of these bags.

5/15/2024 11:09:56 PM

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Kitsune MK1 S/S Rashguard

finally a post where we can exercise our smash or pass voting rights.

I vote smash

smash em both.

5/14/2024 11:13:26 PM

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Progress "Panther" Shorts - White

something about a black panther on white shorts just seems... wrong.
maybe it's my social conditioning, maybe it's my tbi

5/9/2024 11:10:58 PM

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1 Comment

Tatami ANIP Hoodie

this guy tried fighting me at a concert I went to tonight... if only I had this hoodie he would've known I'm a shitty blue belt with zero takedowns that pulls guard, surely then he probably would've thought twice

4/25/2024 9:30:18 AM

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Tatami "Need More Hugs"/ "Born to Fight" 2pack tee

alas, merely seconds later, my order has shipped.

coincidence? I think not.

4/20/2024 12:56:25 AM

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Tatami "Need More Hugs"/ "Born to Fight" 2pack tee

the great soap revolution of April 2024 has started.

state your opinions, peasants.

4/20/2024 12:55:18 AM

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Tatami "Need More Hugs"/ "Born to Fight" 2pack tee

we need less of these trash shirts and more soap.

4/20/2024 12:00:44 AM

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Progress The Academy Gi - White

soap.

4/17/2024 11:31:40 PM

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Tatami "No Pain" Hoodie - Black

why is all jiujitsu/MMA gear always so lame/gay. I'd sooner buy one of those homo affliction/Tapout shirts or just a straight up shirt that literally says "I LIKE ROLLING AROUND WITH SWEATY MEN" rather than 90% of the merch these companies release.

this post is actually just my aggressive way of coming out the closet. I really do love rolling around with sweaty men

4/14/2024 11:17:31 PM

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"Heel Hookin" / "Better Pull Guard" T-Shirt 2pack by BJJHQ

for real? my soap order from 1.5 months ago is STILL processing??? what the actual fucking shit

4/14/2024 1:40:44 PM

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Fuji All Around BJJ Gi - Blue

S top
O ver
A dministrating
P osts

it's called freedom of speech 🇺🇸🫡✊🏿🖕🏿🤙🏿

4/12/2024 1:58:27 PM

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Finishers Black Standard 2-Layer Shorts

will this next rolling deals soap take 2 months to ship orrrrrr whatttttttt???

4/11/2024 3:10:29 PM

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Future Kimonos "Good Times Bad Times" Rash Guard

Shooting
Obvious
Admins
Publicly

4/10/2024 3:45:16 AM

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Kitsune Kimonos "Spectre" Lightweight BJJ Gi - 2024 Edition

I offer 2 options
soap, or war.

4/9/2024 7:00:48 AM

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Tatami Combat Club Hoodie - Black

mY nAmE iS bJjHq aDmIn and iM a gIgAnTiC wEt SoPpY FiLtHy pUsSy

4/8/2024 1:53:04 PM

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Phalanx "Flow Field" Spats

serious question... why does the soap take so long to ship? I ordered mine well over a month ago now and still haven't received anything. I'm about to refund my order

4/7/2024 1:44:42 PM

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1 Comment

93brand XL Pearl Weave Duffel Bag - Navy/Black

selling top secret classified government information regarding the current French/Russian northern Africa proxy wars. (serious replies only, if this comment is deleted bjjhq admins are clearly communist) (and if they leave it up they clearly support Ukrainian genocide, checkmate motherfuckers.)

3/29/2024 9:28:11 AM

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Finishers "Reaper" Rashguard

I haven't showered in 2 weeks, where the fuck is my armbar soap my teammates are starting to get pissed and this hole in my leg is getting bigger

3/28/2024 3:52:42 AM

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Tatami Success Zip Hoodie - Black

where's my fuckin soap

3/27/2024 3:32:54 AM

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93brand "Construct" Convertible Gear Bag (Duffel/Backpack Hybrid) - Black

these bags suck more than the bjjhq admins. and they held the 2012-2023 record for sucking the most.

3/21/2024 3:19:27 AM

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Scramble Base-K BJJ Gi - Ninja Black

My dad was a frogman in Vietnam and said they'd take det cord (like what they use to light fuses and set explosives off) and tie up captured Vietnamese soldiers to trees, tying the det cord around their neck, only to light it and "pop" their head off and leave the headless body on the tree for them to see.

I love my dad, and I hope you enjoyed this history lesson.

3/18/2024 4:15:57 AM

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Phalanx Frequency Long Sleeve Rash Guard

I'm a terrorist.

3/17/2024 1:39:19 AM

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1 Comment

93brand "Butterfly" Gear Bag

bought this last summer. it's overall an alright bag. doesn't quite fit all my MMA gear AND a gi towel, but usually I'm doing one or the other anyways. the handle at the top seems weak and already broke just from me grabbing it on the car and it being slightly stuck, causing the handle to rip off.

I'd give the bag overall like 7 out of 10.

3/16/2024 6:35:32 PM

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Scramble "BAKA" Shorts Black/Seafoam Green

do yall think those 3 letter agencies monitor this forum? asking for a friend (he's DEFINITELY not a terrorist) 😉

3/4/2024 3:20:33 PM

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Phalanx "Strength and Honor" HPTX Shorts

I'm not the only one who read that "Strength and honor" in the Warcraft III orc voice am I?

2/28/2024 12:11:00 AM

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1 Comment

Wristlock Co. "Victory" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Looking for future jiujitsu wife. accepting applications on clash of clans.

2/25/2024 1:08:34 AM

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Toro Large Mesh Gym Bag

in all seriousness, is this bag worth it? would it fit a gi mma gear (shinpads, big/small gloves)

2/9/2024 1:13:14 PM

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Meerkatsu "Laser Beam Flying Jitsunicorn" Shorts

I stand against Xi JinPing and the Chinese Communist Party and I elect StephenSevenStripeWhiteBelt as my VP and we came to sling American flag jiujitsu apparel and crush communists.

and we're all outta jiujitsu apparel...

2/2/2024 11:32:31 PM

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Phalanx "Enso" Long Sleeve Rashguard

if you like Asian tramp stamps, this is the rashguard for you!

1/19/2024 11:28:15 PM

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2 Comments

Tatami Takedown Tiger Shorts HQ exclusive cut

quite frankly as an expert in tiger design clothing here in the pacific northwest, there just simply isn't enough tigers on this for me to justify adding it to my enormously extensive tiger wardrobe. I just already have too many much cooler tiger design clothing than this. they should honestly be ashamed of themselves, whoever is in charge of their tiger design clothing department needs to immediately apologize and submit their resignation and pray to H�lio Gracie for forgiveness.

1/5/2024 11:22:32 PM

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29Niku "Let's Roll Light III" Spats

somebody tried oil checking me today but I told them not only does my husband have a bigger thumb, but I was also in the United States Navy.

then I tapped him.

11/30/2023 11:02:58 PM

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93brand "Dark Tiger" Shorts

bought these during the most recent rolling deals, just got them the other day and I gotta say they seem high quality. all 93 brand things I've bought have lasted me multiple years of training 5 days a week. one of my favorite brands for sure

10/22/2023 2:17:22 AM

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Phalanx "Enso" Long Sleeve Rashguard

if you're into Japanese tramp stamps, this is the rashguard for you!

10/21/2023 12:57:16 AM

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Tatami Takedown Tiger Shorts HQ exclusive cut

go Kimura people on the street, I believe in you bro you got this. go get those subs and dubs

1/6/2024 12:33:33 AM

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Phalanx "Enso" Long Sleeve Rashguard

wow, I'm a genius. great comment Dylan.
thanks Dylan.
you're welcome Dylan.
dylan, why are we simultaneously talking to ourselves but Also from the third person?
Dylan may never know...
Dylan is bored at work, hoping to reach fame and success by good comments on websites and YouTubes but Dylan knows this is a niche market, with only the most refined senses of humor appreciating such craft and artsmanship.

oh jeez I shouldn't have pulled the dab pen so many times before work, what have I done?

1/19/2024 11:32:16 PM

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Phalanx "Enso" Long Sleeve Rashguard

evidently I've upset the Asian tramp stamp community and I'm about to get cancelled

1/20/2024 12:40:24 AM

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Wristlock Co. "Victory" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Ask that Sean O'Malley or Ian Gary fellow

2/25/2024 7:41:39 PM

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Phalanx "Strength and Honor" HPTX Shorts

whoever disliked this plays alliance and loses every battleground and probably pulls guard.

2/28/2024 6:51:13 AM

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Phalanx Frequency Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Allahu akbar.

3/17/2024 11:26:05 AM

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Kureiji "Jitslife" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

yeah those Chinese fucks are censoring my comments too. these adminis are soy boy pussies who probably only pull guard

3/19/2024 6:05:40 PM

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Kureiji "Jitslife" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Xi jinping has entered the chat.

3/19/2024 6:06:49 PM

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Phalanx "Flow Field" Spats

capt o you're gay

4/7/2024 9:27:59 PM

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Tatami Combat Club Hoodie - Black

using introspectiveness, if you take a second and reflect inward you'll see that you're a actually a loser

4/8/2024 1:54:42 PM

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Future Kimonos "Good Times Bad Times" Rash Guard

people who are disliking our comments got tapped out by the ringworm

4/10/2024 3:42:44 AM

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Future Kimonos "Good Times Bad Times" Rash Guard

capt o DEFINITELY has a staph infection on her crotch

4/10/2024 10:11:38 AM

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Future Kimonos "Good Times Bad Times" Rash Guard

exactly.

it's been almost 1.5 months when they said it would ship March 14-18th, and we all placed our orders March 1st

4/10/2024 2:22:57 PM

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Finishers Black Standard 2-Layer Shorts

I agree. They're no better than the communists

4/11/2024 3:11:32 PM

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Finishers Black Standard 2-Layer Shorts

the admins are whitebelts

4/11/2024 3:20:37 PM

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"Heel Hookin" / "Better Pull Guard" T-Shirt 2pack by BJJHQ

they've resorted back to horse & carriage and pigeon couriers.

4/14/2024 1:57:34 PM

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Tatami "Need More Hugs"/ "Born to Fight" 2pack tee

I'm here for you brother

4/20/2024 12:01:10 AM

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Aesthetic "Legacy" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

a smart man learns from his mistakes, a wise man learns from others, I however just continue to fuck up.

4/26/2024 11:12:47 PM

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Aesthetic "Legacy" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

sTrEaLtH

4/26/2024 11:11:23 PM

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Tatami Easy Peasy T-Shirt Black

you're not him.

5/5/2024 11:23:19 PM

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Progress "Panther" Shorts - White

my nigga you obviously don't get it

5/10/2024 4:29:56 PM

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Scramble "BAKA" Rash Guard Black/Seafoam

Dong God bruh fr fr.

5/12/2024 11:11:58 PM

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Flow Alpine Pro 2.10 BJJ Gi - Blue

clearly yall aren't cultured enough to have heard the Dracula flows.

"fucking amateur" -chael sonnen

5/23/2024 5:43:52 PM

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Inverted Gear Academy Shorts

BJJHQ scissors ?? are my go-to scissors for self harm. no other jiujitsu scissors slice and cut the skin quite like them. 11/10

7/3/2024 5:06:05 PM

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Inverted Gear Hybrid Gi - Mint/Green

I wish you got shot Joe.

7/18/2024 4:21:05 AM

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93brand Standard Issue Grappling Shorts 2-Pack - Black/Grey

shut up dylan

7/22/2024 10:27:30 PM

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Toro Large Mesh Gym Bag

Cody, for the love of God brother this is getting embarrassing. That bitch of a whore in your pic left you the first year of covid, get over her and stop buying her rolling deals thinking she'll come back!

8/4/2024 12:59:34 PM

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Toro Large Mesh Gym Bag

"Mr. Lahey is this you or the Liquor talking?"
"I am the Liquor"

8/4/2024 12:56:34 PM

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93brand XL Pearl Weave Duffel Bag (Olive Drab)

... and staphylococcus?.... asking for a friend...

8/29/2024 2:07:22 PM

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Tatami "Onyx" Black Joggers

this review seems a little TOO sus... don't reply if you're in duress while working for tatami.

9/2/2024 12:47:14 AM

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Kitsune "Red Skies" BJJ Gi - Black

wtf is jew dough?

9/16/2024 2:51:42 PM

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Inverted Gear "Panda 400" BJJ Gi - Black/Gold

??amen my brother in ringworm. preach.

9/26/2024 12:20:00 AM

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Kitsune Kimonos "Spectre" Lightweight BJJ Gi - 2024 Edition

obviously just weightcut bro

10/7/2024 4:14:24 AM

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93brand "Hybrid" Hoodie - Olive

I can help with that.
add me on clash of clans

10/21/2024 12:52:57 AM

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29Niku "Let's Roll Light III" Shorts

yeah I don't fucking get it it's stupid

(probably that guy's response)

10/26/2024 12:04:13 AM

Comment on:

29Niku "Let's Roll Light III" Shorts

clearly you've never ridden the blessed express

10/26/2024 2:01:15 PM

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29Niku "Let's Roll Light III" Shorts

i am never going to live down the humiliation from this community for making such an IDIOTIC comment.

stupid. I'm so STUPID!

10/26/2024 4:47:39 PM

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Tatami Recharge Rash Guard - Leopard

that's an insult to this lad.
he's clearly at least at the Walmart level of knock off DDP

10/27/2024 2:39:42 AM

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HQ Heel Hookin' Rash Guard

nah the housing market bubble will eventually pop and fail.

meanwhile, bjjhq rashguards will NEVER go out of style.

ones wealth isn't determined by how large their house is, but how large their collection or armbar soaps is.

11/4/2024 1:26:05 PM

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Aesthetic "Clutch" 2-Layer Shorts - Alpine Camo

"cHiNa"
- Trump

11/8/2024 3:08:31 PM

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Progress Bengal Hybrid Shorts - Black/Green

you can clearly see one in picture 4, nice.

12/8/2024 11:06:28 PM

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